Followers!!!!!

OH. MY. WORD. I have followers. Two people have decided to tune in to what I have to say. NOW I’m scared. Heather even commented!!! My first blog comment!!! Thank you Heather! If I had something to give away, I’d send you a prize for being the first. But, alas – I’m broke. Hmm….How about a pen?

It’s a great pen….only slightly used ;-)

Heather’s comment pointed out that I’m greatly upbeat (is that the phrase you used?) about this process. I tend to try to be upbeat about everything. I guess that’s something I get from my mother. My mom died in 1998 from a brain tumor, and those final 6 weeks were filled with more laughs at the hands of mom’s jokes than I could list in a million years. Even facing the greatest trial of her life, she faced it with grace, humility, and hilarity.

Obviously, I don’t always succeed, and I’m sure there’s times to come where I am down right despondent about this process. I *want* to succeed, however, I am weak. I say this as I sip my Dr. Pepper. Only my first of the day – but the sweet tea at here at work SUCKS. I couldn’t even bring myself to get a Diet Dr. Pepper – I needed full on calories, sweetness, and deliciousness.

But – just to prove that I am human. I’m terrified. I’m terrified of the process. I’m terrified that I am going to go through the next 6 months only to get denied by my insurance. I’m terrified of going under anesthesia – I woke up once in the middle of oral surgery – to the surgeon having a nose bleed! What if I don’t like my new skinny self? Oh, that’s right – I’m doing this to be healthy. But still?? What if. What if. What if. And thus the reason I try to stay upbeat – so I can knock all the what ifs outta my head, even if it is only temporary.

I had eyeballed the week between Christmas and New Years for surgery – ummm…dummy Amy. That means Christmas meals on a liquid diet. Not the brightest idea I’ve ever had. But there’s always next year, right?

So, a little more about me J I am married – to a wonderful man, Casey. I’m sure you’ll hear me fuss about him in the future. He has the great pleasure of being 150 pounds. Soaking wet. With his heaviest sweater on. I knew I was in trouble when after a month of marriage he came skipping…yes…SKIPPING out of the bathroom ecstatic because he had gained 5 pounds. Squeeze me??? You are happy? “Well Amy, some people have a hard time gaining weight just like you have a hard time losing weight.” Ergh. Men. But I lub him very very much.

Casey has a 7 year old daughter who is the cat’s pajamas. She rocks. What else can I say?

Thanks for tuning in. I am going to try to be more diligent in posting.

I HAVE A.D.D!!!! And an update

Yeah...so. I have A.D.D. If that wasn't obvious - it's been a month since I started this blog, and this is only my 2nd entry. I'm trying people. I went yesterday to a head doctor who took all of 20 minutes to determine what me, my entire family and my friends have known all my life - I have A.D.D. So - I left with a prescription to help me focus - YAY!!! (More on this to come :))

Update update update. Well - since I last checked in - I've started my monthly appointments for weight management with my PCP. In the first month, I lost 9.something pounds. That's almost double digits. Woot woot! The biggest change I made was almost cutting out soda's. Dr. Pepper and I are like one. I was never without one. And if I happen to run out - the world STOPPED so I could run to the store and get one. Last month, I cut it down to one a day - in the morning because I so don't drink coffee. Well, now my new goal is to cut it out completely. I've had one since last Friday. And no withdrawals as of yet! Of course, it does help that I've replaced the Dr. Pepper with sweet tea - which gives me my caffiene fix. Maybe one day I'll progress to unsweetened tea. Nahhhh...I'm from the south - and we southern girls LOOOVE our sweet tea :)

In order for my insurance to pay for my surgery, I have to have a co-morbidity. We found one!! I went last month for a sleep study, and after the best night sleep in weeks, it was determined I have sleep apnea. How does one do that - go get hooked up to all these electrodes, wires, patches, etc - and sleep more soundly than she has in weeks? Well, imagine my excitement when they called back and asked me to come in for a 2nd study. Heck yeah!!! Can I come tonight??? Can I stay the weekend??? How bout I just move in?? I cook and occassionally clean. Yeah, I was only booked for a one night stay :(. But, hopefully, this will take care of me feeling sooo tired throughout the day.

I told my husband that I thought maybe I really had ADHD, but that I was just too damn tired to be hyper. He didn't see the humor in that. At all. LOL

Hopefully by fall, I'll know my fate when it comes to insurance and their big ole' "APPROVED" or "DENIED" stamp on my paperwork.

Hmmm...anything else?? Well, I go for my psych eval next week. This has brought moments of hilarity to my family as they are taking bets as to whether I will be headed straight for the padded rooms, or if I'll get a phone call first. I fail to see what they are talking about ;o)